I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
