Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
All I want is dick and wine.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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