yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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