Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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