puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
