i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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