Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
