I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
