Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
