Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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