I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
