we have officially lost it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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