Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
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I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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