some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
