I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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