if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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