remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
