His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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