im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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