omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
