new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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