last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
