that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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