Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
