worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
