I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
