Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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