I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
