Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
