Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
