Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
