I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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