Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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