Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
