is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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