Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
