He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
