I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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