Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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