Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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