i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
