So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
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Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.