Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
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You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.