Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.