they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
