you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
