you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
