Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
