Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
