I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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