Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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