Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
