i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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