hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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