I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
