im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
