if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Watching her eat just hurts me
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
